dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
