yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize
