i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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