wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
There's always time for handjobs
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
