Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
