So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
