How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
