On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
