At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize