so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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