I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
It's never too late to be topless.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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