And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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