Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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