please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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