its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Randomize
