I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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