He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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