bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
