Sry I called you an 8
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
