So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
