No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize