so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Randomize
