you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
