it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
