Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize