I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
