OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
