god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
