if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
