I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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