Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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