Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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