Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
