First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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