There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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