Pappa wants mamma naked
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
