So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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