Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
