Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
