is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
