i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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