dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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