Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
