Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
