the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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