so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
