But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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