I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
sarcasm needs its own font
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
