do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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