Pass out mid-funnel last night.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
A+ Viking dick
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