Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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