And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
