Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
