absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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