Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
