she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Your cock deserves a montage
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
