It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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