Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize