He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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