So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
