i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Everclear isn't food dammit
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
