All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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