Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
