just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
