apparently the secret to your success is patron
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
