My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
