I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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