he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
