Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(848): View more from New Jersey

a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving

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(612): View more from Minnesota

just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever

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(804): View more from Virginia

So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...

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(208): View more from Idaho

I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"

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(469): View more from Texas

He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor

(972): View more from Texas

Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone

(469): View more from Texas

Noooo he’s listed as free food #5

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