My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
