its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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