The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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