i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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